I am now into the afternoon hours. I got out these books from my library on the Gospel of John to look at this afternoon.
"Johannie Discipleship as a Covenant Relationship" by Rekham M. Chennattu
"The Mission Of Jesus & The Disciples according to the Fourth Gospel" by Andreas J. Kostenberger
"John: Evangelist Of The Covenant People: The Narrative & Themes of the Fourth Gospel" by John W. Pryor
"The Anointed Community: The Holy Spirit in the Johannie Tradition" by Gary M. Burge
"Father, Son and Spirit: The Trinity and John's Gospel" by Andreas J. Kostenberger
"The God Of The Gospel Of John" by Marianne Meye Thompson
This morning I have been reading, "The Mission Of Jesus & The Disciples according to the Fourth Gospel" by Andreas J. Kostenberger. Lately I have been reading two other books by Kostenberger on The Gospel of John, "A Theology Of John's Gospel And Letters: The Word, the Christ, the Son of God" and "John" [Baker Exegetical Commentary On The New Testament].
What always mystifies when I look over my Christian past is that no one in the American Evangelical Movement wanted to use my spiritual gifts. Weird. Sometimes I wonder if somewhere in my Past I did something so bad that God determined that I was not worthy of the office of a Teaching Elder. At the same time as I look over my Past I have experienced a negative reaction to my personal being. I do not think people in general like me as a person. I think also people who are professing Christians do not like me. I might give off bad vibes. It is all a mystery to me why I am not in some evangelical church sharing the Good News to lost undone sinners.
" I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom;
 Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.
 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
 And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.
 But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry.
 For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand.
 I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:
 Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing." 2 Tim. 4:1-8