April 30th, 2006

not rhetorical?

(no subject)

Linear project: Chunying and I did it this afternoon and discovered that Waldo would most likely be in Knox County, Tennessee, if we were to look for him randomly. He also would have some fake teeth, but the others would be gone because they would be far beyond repair. (I'm serious. This was our linear project.)

FAFSA: After an hour and three calls to Mum, check. (Mum forgot to give me their W-2s, and I kind of needed those.)

Logical fallacies, ramblings, and possible self-discovery follow. I have no idea why I'm even thinking this.

This weekend I found myself thinking about soulmates. I have no idea what brought me to the subject, but I was wondering: What exactly is a soulmate? On one level, I've thought of a soulmate as "the other half", someone who, after meeting, I'll look at life "before" and "after", just as I do with life-changing events such as finding out about Nanowrimo and converting to the math side. On another level, I think courting this soulmate would have to be either perfection or disaster, both because we would be so compatible and so much alike that it would be scary. After all, we would share that soulmate bond, and to be honest, I would be a little scared to meet someone who was so much like myself. The obvious reasons aside, I'm just a scary person in nature. I've noticed this. People turn away from me when I walk down the street or across the quad, even when I'm being perfectly friendly.

Back to the topic at hand, have I met mine, even in a chance passing? I'm more inclined to say no than yes for the obvious reason: have I really met anyone with whom I could share that special bond? Have I really met anyone as scary as I, as odd, who shares so much with me yet so little? I'd love to say no, but there's always that chance. Also, most of the people I know now are normal--not like me. Besides, how would I know? I have yet to find an axiomatic system of love, but I would like to think that there is a shred of reason involved.

Now, for the bigger question: Do I even have one? I would like to say yes, but this could imply a future husband, and I don't want to marry (although I may not be opposed to it if a time comes). I love the idea of living alone in the city and letting my own career carry my life and me. Sometimes this soulmate thing seems like too much bother. That special bond would be nice, though. I think we all like to feel loved by another.