April 6th, 2007

sounded better in my head

Five Questions

So bluepapermate interviewed me on the 25th of February. It's now 13 March 6 April (wow, what happened?), so it's about time I answer.

1. What do you imagine your life looking like five years from now?

I actually figured this out pretty recently. Grad school has always played around in the back of my head, even if the field has changed over the years from English to French to math. Now that I've figured out what I want to do with said degree and knowledge--spread my love of math to others, just as so many have spread their knowledge and love of mathematics to me--five years from now, unless some transformation or tragedy happens in the meantime, I'll be somewhere (preferably not in the South, as I've lived here my entire life) at graduate school, working toward my dream.

2. Do you have any criteria for the perfect journal?

After sixty journals, you'd think I'd have this one figured out. Unless the journal is really pretty, it can't be big (letter-sized, for instance). I made an exception a few Dr. Nbooks ago because it was that gorgeous. It was also unlined, another thing I normally don't go for, but it worked for me that time. I like order, so lines are always good. If the journal is smaller, the lack of lines isn't such a big issue. However, my handwriting tends to go everywhere, so the lines can't be too small, or I'll feel restrained in a place where I should be completely uninhibited. I'm not too picky about spiral vs. no spiral, but if it does have a spiral, it must be of good quality. There's nothing worse than getting a spiral caught on a sweater. The cover must also be aesthetically pleasing and of good quality. Is it something I'm going to look forward to writing in?

My journal shopping routine goes something like this:

I pass the journals. One in particular spots my eye. I study the cover, pick it up, and flip through it. If nothing happens--that unexplainable thing that attaches me to that journal, I keep going. If I do like it, though, I put it down and keep going, but I return to it. If this happens a few times, I almost always buy that journal. I have to feel a connection to my journals. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

3. What makes you really angry?

If I were still the angsty teen I was a few years ago, the list would probably exceed the limit for entry length. Yes, there really is one. Now, though, I'd have to go with deceit, intolerance, and ignorance. While so many things confuse and sadden me, these anger me over almost everything I've encountered so far in my life. Why do people have to wear masks all the time? I can understand if there's something they're just not ready to tell the world yet, but if they really are using it to manipulate others and I find out, that really does anger me.

As for intolerance and ignorance, we're all human. We as humans come from all walks of life. Someone might not be just like you, but we're all human, we're all here together on this ordinary planet that's so special because we're here and we decided to make it special. We're not going to be around for much longer. Would it kill us to get along? Just a little bit? Preferably through a method that doesn't involve killing people.

4. What brings you the greatest joy?

I could Google it for the exact quote, but someone once said that you could never experience true happiness unless you've experienced the deepest pain. I derive joy from so many things--being with people I love, experiencing that flash of brilliance after hours or days of frustration and letting that hope burn inside me as I head for the finish line, learning something new that should be mind-boggling but somehow just makes sense, crafting my thoughts into something coherent enough for someone else to understand, and simply enjoying life. After all, it's the only one I have.

5. What do you really like about your life right now?

I'm surrounded by people and things that I love. I love my family (as much as I complain about them) and friends. I'm studying what I love with the most caring math department ever. Considering I applied to ASC because I wanted to be a creative writing/French major (quite the opposite of a math major), that's saying something. I finally know what I want to do with my life.

And it's going to getting better, too. Let the fun begin.

Today's Good Friday, meaning no classes. I started to work on my essay for the Global Connections: France trip and even read a few pages of The First Three Minutes, but other than that, I didn't really do much today. I really need to crack down this weekend, though.

Also, I've been listening to "Defying Gravity" from Wicked religiously lately. That song just... describes me. How could I forget it? Sometime I'll do a soundtrack of my life philosophy and include it...that is, after I clean out the queue of somewhat thoughtful entries waiting to be written.

Oh, and those questions? Pretend this is that interview meme. If you want five questions to answer, just ask. I promise I don't bite too hard.