I realized that I've been sounding really angsty lately. This is sad because I don't normally sound like this. Possibly it's because I've been having a bad week. If this were a work of fiction, the anticlimax would be the near-nervous breakdown during the algebra test, while everything coasts down slowly but surely to the end of the week. I'm sure I could find a real climax in this "plot" somewhere.
I've also been thinking about my thoughts of changing my major from math/French to French/something easy. I even started a pro/con list to organize my thoughts and to find out why I was considering the change.
1. I can leave the math department next year with a minor.
2. Never again will I hear, "Sujin's a math major; let her figure out what [insert huge calculation] is." (Actually, I'm known as "the" math major, even though I'm not the only one.)
3. I can actually talk to my friends about my (new) passion without boring them. Let's face it: many of them--math, grammar, languages, writing--aren't exactly suited for general discussion.
1. I still love math. I really do. If you don't believe me, you haven't been hanging out with me long enough.
2. Note my language. I said "something easy", not "something interesting".
3. No matter what I choose, I'll struggle at some point. I did last semester (but did really well in the class), and while I said "Let's change my major to something easy!", it was a joke. Really.
4. There are so many secrets that the mathematical world has been hiding from me, and I want to find out those secrets. So many seeds have already been planted; I want to grow them.
5. If I leave math, a huge part of me will be missing forever.
So... what's a girl to do?