A creepy crawly insect the size of my thumb crawled out from under my bed. I screamed and grabbed a sandal, but it was too late. The bug had already run back to its safe place under my bed.
I told Andrew about the bug as I sat on the floor next to my bed, shoe in hand. "I'm going to get this bug," I told him. "And I'm going to swing this shoe at it, and eliminate it, and squeeze its bug out."
But the bug didn't come out. In the meantime I grabbed a piece of paper, a plastic cup, and a plastic bag to use as a trap. "If I catch this bug, I'm definitely taping its death," I told him.
A few minutes later the bug crawled out from under the bed. I screamed again. The bug ran back under the bed. Lesson learned: don't scream.
I stayed up and talked awhile until I saw it. The bug. It ran out from under the bed and tiptoed across the room. I grabbed my shoe and my trap, but it was too late. It had already crawled behind the shelf on the other side of the room. Damnit. Okay, time to look behind there. There was no flashlight in sight, so I grabbed a cheap lamp that I had won as a prize in high school and an extension cord, plugged in the extension cord across the hall, plugged the lamp into the extension cord, and investigated the space between the wall and the shelf. Just a bunch of cords. No bugs, anyway. During this time Jeffrey came in and offered to kill the bug for me if I saw it. I turned him down, telling him I was a big girl and was perfectly capable of squashing a bug to death myself.
I forgot about the bug and went to bed, hoping that the bug wouldn't come out and lay eggs all over me in the night.
Fast forward to last night. I was reading the friends list and feeling something crawling on me. I had felt this all day, but I convinced myself that it was all in my mind. I had taken a shower yesterday morning to wash away any possible eggs that may have been produced in the night. (I didn't find any, by the way.)
Then I heard something crawl. I looked around. Nothing on my desk. Good. I turned toward my bed.
Something didn't look right about the tree on my Winnie the Pooh poster. Something was on the tree. A creepy, crawly, six-legged something. And luckily for me, it was sitting still. I grabbed a sandal and hit the wall. SWAT. The bug fell to the floor, leaving only a little bit of evidence on the poster. I wiped everything up with a towel, grabbed the bug with said towel, and threw everything away.
Bug status: PWND.