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High School Notes: Math Edition

Okay, time for the best part. High school math funnies.

There are lots of "Hooray, I get this!" and "Mwahahaha" that I'll spare you. It's the same thing every time, really. Now to the good stuff.

[on factorization]
Every time I finish one of these, I feel like laughing manically. (Don't ask me why.)
Differences of squares: This trick won't work if it's 4x2+25; you're done then. (Where's the fork?)

[on synthetic division] I hope I get SOME of this right, at least... Now watch me come into Mrs. Potts' room tomorrow morning screaming out, "I don't get this! Take me away before I take myself away!"

[on power functions] Qu'est-ce que c'est? Je ne sais pas. Je ne le connais pas. Oh, function!

"If you work math long enough, you'll just get what you started with."

"If God is not a God of confusion, then why did He create math?"

Tomorrow morning's Whinery session: "Mrs. Potts, why am I such an idiot?"

Branches? I didn't know algebra was like military.

[on ellipses] It looks like a loaf of bread.

Boy, that makes me feel good! Watch me forget it an hour from now!

"First you do this, and this, and this and this and this and this and *blows bubble*"
-Spongebob in "Bubblestand"

[I have no idea where I going with this one.]
I have that Jessica Andrews song "Who I am" stuck in my head. Darn those people in second block who play it all the time. Funny, the same people who hang out with the girl who works in the bar play country music all the time.

"This isn't math. This is guessing."
-another student in my class

*light bulb goes off in my head, wondering how on earth I came up with it*
(It just hit me; I can't explain it. I just gasped when it hit me. And then Perrin looked at me, asking me if I really did get it.)

"They're not even part of the class. They're in super-honors."
-someone in the class on Polly and me

Ladeladela... "Having pun, Ferrin?"

[on remembering the trig functions]
Oh Hell, Another Hour Of Algebra!
Sim, Cosim, Tangerine!

"I've got to get a calculator from Mrs. Potts--I mean, Miss Loraine."
-someone on getting a calculator from Mrs. Potts--I mean, Miss Loraine (I had two classes with her)

"Why would a moose want to get high on pot?"
-Alison, way back in geometry

[on having a radical in the denominator. Oh, how we were brainwashed]
Mrs. Potts: And what's that called?
Lyndsey: Wrong.

Why is probability always about food?
[Too bad it wasn't when I took it in college.]

Algebra is not of God, avoid it like the DEVIL!

[on a system where obtaining x and y was impossible]
Me: And what was THIS, Mrs. Potts?! Huh huh huh?
Mrs. Potts (in her red ink): Um... oops!... sorry!! (First mistake I ever made...)

N'oublie pas le poisson! [Don't forget the fish!]

[on a homework assignment]
I think it was the Pepsi. I took one out of the fridge when I came in and sat it next to me but forgot to open it. I opened it right before I worked on #40. The Pepsi poisoned my poor mind!
[on the same problem] So now Mom came in (in the middle of this one!) and starts bombarding me about stuff for the PFS tomorrow. I was like, heck with it, I haven't even though about it. I've been so busy. She starts telling me and then Grandmother starts coming in on me. I have enough issues as it is! Grr...
So now I get almost the right answers, but when I plug them in, the signs of the answers are reversed, but the number part is right. Grandmother said Cramer was an angel (Gabriel). I loved him too, but now I'm not so sure.
I finally did it! But now Grandmother tells me about something about a friend of mine that really upset me. Well, at least she waited until I finished that problem before she told me.
[And yet I got that problem right. Why all this? Oh, for the end.]

Now I see why I do so well with imaginary numbers--I live in an imaginary world.

I feel like a second-grader again except for the fact that the x is actually somewhere in the problem and not off to the side, screaming "Multiply me!"

Parabola, parabola. Wherefore art thou parabola?

[on the top of a homework assignment]
Quand: Whinery
Où: Demain matin
Pourquoi: Whining Time

Today's special in the Whinery: Fresh complaining straight from the brain!

[I also wrote random notes on tests. Here are some of them.]
21: A (what's what all the A answers?)
22: A (See what I mean?)
23: A (Are you trying to rub it in that we're not going to get an A on this test??)
24: D (Fine, NOW tell us what we're going to make!)
[I got a 99, by the way.]

Did I mention how much I HATE finding vertices? It's a pain in the--oh wait, donkey.

10: A (and A stands for Almost didn't find the problem and wondered if Mrs. Potts was sane. But then I thought I saw something on the back. Come to think about it, I turned it over. Dag nab it, there was a #10 after all.)


[One day I was out of class--maybe I was sick, I don't remember now--and Polly, she who would be valedictorian, took notes for me. Bask in the amusement.]

Notes by Polly (with additional notes from the infamous peanut gallery!)

4) Same base in numerator and denominator => not simplified (can we all say huh?)
[after an example] Okay, I guess it makes sense. Kinda.

A little later: Sorry about #5 after half a page of notes. Mrs. Potts just thought of it. There might be a #6 after another page or so, by the way.)
(All right, I just got a problem right! Yay!)
Coming up... examples! Yay! (I can just see your excited face.)

[in the margin] I sound like our math book.

Polynomial function: explains how a certain person named Polly functions without a brain
The real polynomial fuction: [real definition]

Examples (as Sujin leaps for joy)

f(x)=3x+3x is not a polynomial fuction because [real reason].
Hmm, in my opinion it's not a polynomial function because it has no DBID, Oobleckium, or pineapples in it. But anyway...

Direct substitution (Substitute Sujin's brain for Polly's, which will give Polly the ability to think and use a brain for the first time in her life)

Synthetic substitution (Have Sujin somehow make a brain and substitute for emptiness in Polly's head)

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
yayskittles
Dec. 30th, 2008 04:25 pm (UTC)
Bweehehehe, these notes are awesome.

I just drew pictures of my cat. :P
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )