WARNING: THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION IS VITAL TO YOUR STATUS AS A HUMAN BEING. PLEASE READ IT ANYWAY.
Opening this document signifies your negligence to obey simple rules. You have now entered into territory so sacred that you are not worthy to set your mouse onto it. You have shown disrespect and shame toward a writer’s ways. I do not know why you did this, or why you even considered approaching my computer in the first place. All I know is that you must be punished.
I leave you with this. Do not approach the other documents in this folder. Violators will be punished by taking on the role of antagonist in my next fictional work, and I will make sure that everyone can tell that the antagonist is supposed to resemble the violator. Your best course of action would to be to exit this folder immediately. Unless I have given you explicit permission to be on this computer, then you must exit all programs and execute a proper shutdown of this computer. Do NOT, under any circumstances, pass go and collect two hundred CD-ROMs.
Thank you, and have a good day.
Something tells me I can delete this file now, but it's going here for posterity and future lulz.