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I was in the throes of PMS yesterday and was looking for ways to cheer myself up. When Paul and Storm started posting literal pop songs on Twitter, I read a few and started laughing. Hard.

Then I posted my own. ALL AFTERNOON. This was a ridiculous amount of fun, but even more fun with crappy songs from my childhood. The 140-character restraint made this even harder, especially when taking into consideration the hashtag #literalpopsongs to be added at the end so others could find it. I had entire choruses composed for some of these that got cut off because of the hashtag. I'll include them for the ones I remember.

For posterity, here we go!

My loneliness is killing me / And I must confess that I am dying on the spot #literalpopsongs

Everybody/Yeah times six billion/Shake your body/HOLYCRAPSTOPTHAT #literalpopsongs

I don't want the world to see me/Even though it can still see me here/I can't run away from this planet/Because it's the only one with air

She blinded me with science and threw HCl in my eyes #literalpopsongs

Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet/Did you finally get caught in that hurricane that you were chasing? #literalpopsongs

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere in that huge corn maze. #literalpopsongs

And the same black line that was drawn on you was drawn on me/We drew it in Sharpie #literalpopsongs

C'mon baby we ain't gonna live forever/We're all gonna die someday somehow #literalpopsongs

Knowing me, knowing you/We'll probably screw this whole thing up #literalpopsongs

Isn't it ironic? No it's not. It's made of gold and not iron #literalpopsongs

But to be myself completely I just have to be myself/This is really really obvious but it won't get in my head #literalpopsongs

I'm rocking the suburbs by throwing rocks all 'round this place #literalpopsongs

The only thing that looks good on me is you/Because I killed you and turned your skin into a full body suit #literalpopsongs

Let's get out of this country/I have my ticket out right here #literalpopsongs
(More: We'll cross the border to Canada / If we die there we die in real life / I know I have no money or skills / But elections are nigh and I must prepare / I know I say this every time / But this time it's real / This time it's real)

My heart will go on and keep beating because that's what hearts do until they stop beating #literalpopsongs

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you with incandescent gas #literalpopsongs

And the world is made of energy, kinetic and potential types #literalpopsongs

This is the story of your red right ankle and how it also hurts like hell #literalpopsongs

So bye-bye, Miss American Pie, maybe apple or strawberry, even cherry or peach #literalpopsongs
(More: You're in my stomach for digestion time / Thinking "Soon I'm gonna nourish your bod / Soon I'm gonna nourish your bod")

Coin-operated boy/I like my robots/They're in my control/I put in a quarter/He does as I tell him #literalpopsongs

Vacation's all I ever wanted; too bad I never get to go #literalpopsongs
(The next line: Too bad I work a crummy nine-to-five)

I said I wasn't gonna lose my head but then pop! goes my heart (and then I died) #literalpopsongs

Your body is a wonderland/The Magic School Bus really finds it fun #literalpopsongs

I just can't get you outta my head/You shrunk yourself and crawled up my nose #literalpopsongs

All of my plants would die (if you steal my sunshine)/I would be living in the dark (if you steal my sunshine) #literalpopsongs

American Woman/She's from North Amer'ca/American Woman/Not just from the U.S. #literalpopsongs

I'm hanging by a moment on this clock/The second hand is really really small #literalpopsongs
(The rest of this chorus: The hand is ticking to the six / I'm slipping on this moment on this clock)

She will be loved/Future tense is killing me/She will be loved/Surely someone loves this girl right now #literalpopsongs

If you're gone/You won't be here, you'll be there #literalpopsongs

Did you doubt the curve of the earth/and believe Earth's/paper flat/I'll bet you did #literalpopsongs

And we'll all float on okay,out of the earth's atmosphere,and we'll die 'from lack of air,but we'll be in space together #literalpopsongs

This is the story of a girl/Written in the style of a song/I tell you 'bout some things this girl once did #literalpopsongs

I'm a creep/I steal panties/I touch the warm spot on their chair/I am cloning her #literalpopsongs

I knew I loved you when I said "I love you"/You're not surprised how many don't #literalpopsongs

Underneath your clothes is your epidermis/Keeping your insides inside of your body #literalpopsongs
(The rest of the chorus: "Revealing your pancreas is not a good first date idea")

From this moment/Long as I live/I'll be living/Breathing in and out #literalpopsongs

You're a god, and I should worship you but I'm that devout #literalpopsongs
(This one should be "I'm NOT that devout". Oh well.)

No one knows what it's like to be vitreous/to be the lens/behind blue eyes #literalpopsongs

I wanna be bad/Screw philosophy/I'm not debating this/I'm off the path of good/And on the path of bad/Ocrapdidn'tponderthat #literalpopsongs

Now, how many of these songs can you guess? I tried to keep them somewhat mainstream, or at least they were mainstream at some point in time.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 28th, 2010 06:26 pm (UTC)
I recognize most of those. Yay!

I really like the one about the black line drawn in Sharpie. It seems familiar, but I can't think of which song it is. Of course, it could be because my brain is kind of fried from working in the painting studio since 10am or so.
Feb. 28th, 2010 10:08 pm (UTC)
I was totally cracking up at your tweets yesterday! it made me smile!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )