I was in the throes of PMS yesterday and was looking for ways to cheer myself up. When Paul and Storm started posting literal pop songs on Twitter, I read a few and started laughing. Hard.

Then I posted my own. ALL AFTERNOON. This was a ridiculous amount of fun, but even more fun with crappy songs from my childhood. The 140-character restraint made this even harder, especially when taking into consideration the hashtag #literalpopsongs to be added at the end so others could find it. I had entire choruses composed for some of these that got cut off because of the hashtag. I'll include them for the ones I remember.

For posterity, here we go!

My loneliness is killing me / And I must confess that I am dying on the spot #literalpopsongs

Everybody/Yeah times six billion/Shake your body/HOLYCRAPSTOPTHAT #literalpopsongs

I don't want the world to see me/Even though it can still see me here/I can't run away from this planet/Because it's the only one with air

She blinded me with science and threw HCl in my eyes #literalpopsongs

Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet/Did you finally get caught in that hurricane that you were chasing? #literalpopsongs

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere in that huge corn maze. #literalpopsongs

And the same black line that was drawn on you was drawn on me/We drew it in Sharpie #literalpopsongs

C'mon baby we ain't gonna live forever/We're all gonna die someday somehow #literalpopsongs

Knowing me, knowing you/We'll probably screw this whole thing up #literalpopsongs

Isn't it ironic? No it's not. It's made of gold and not iron #literalpopsongs

But to be myself completely I just have to be myself/This is really really obvious but it won't get in my head #literalpopsongs

I'm rocking the suburbs by throwing rocks all 'round this place #literalpopsongs

The only thing that looks good on me is you/Because I killed you and turned your skin into a full body suit #literalpopsongs

Let's get out of this country/I have my ticket out right here #literalpopsongs
(More: We'll cross the border to Canada / If we die there we die in real life / I know I have no money or skills / But elections are nigh and I must prepare / I know I say this every time / But this time it's real / This time it's real)

My heart will go on and keep beating because that's what hearts do until they stop beating #literalpopsongs

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you with incandescent gas #literalpopsongs

And the world is made of energy, kinetic and potential types #literalpopsongs

This is the story of your red right ankle and how it also hurts like hell #literalpopsongs

So bye-bye, Miss American Pie, maybe apple or strawberry, even cherry or peach #literalpopsongs
(More: You're in my stomach for digestion time / Thinking "Soon I'm gonna nourish your bod / Soon I'm gonna nourish your bod")

Coin-operated boy/I like my robots/They're in my control/I put in a quarter/He does as I tell him #literalpopsongs

Vacation's all I ever wanted; too bad I never get to go #literalpopsongs
(The next line: Too bad I work a crummy nine-to-five)

I said I wasn't gonna lose my head but then pop! goes my heart (and then I died) #literalpopsongs

Your body is a wonderland/The Magic School Bus really finds it fun #literalpopsongs

I just can't get you outta my head/You shrunk yourself and crawled up my nose #literalpopsongs

All of my plants would die (if you steal my sunshine)/I would be living in the dark (if you steal my sunshine) #literalpopsongs

American Woman/She's from North Amer'ca/American Woman/Not just from the U.S. #literalpopsongs

I'm hanging by a moment on this clock/The second hand is really really small #literalpopsongs
(The rest of this chorus: The hand is ticking to the six / I'm slipping on this moment on this clock)

She will be loved/Future tense is killing me/She will be loved/Surely someone loves this girl right now #literalpopsongs

If you're gone/You won't be here, you'll be there #literalpopsongs

Did you doubt the curve of the earth/and believe Earth's/paper flat/I'll bet you did #literalpopsongs

And we'll all float on okay,out of the earth's atmosphere,and we'll die 'from lack of air,but we'll be in space together #literalpopsongs

This is the story of a girl/Written in the style of a song/I tell you 'bout some things this girl once did #literalpopsongs

I'm a creep/I steal panties/I touch the warm spot on their chair/I am cloning her #literalpopsongs

I knew I loved you when I said "I love you"/You're not surprised how many don't #literalpopsongs

Underneath your clothes is your epidermis/Keeping your insides inside of your body #literalpopsongs
(The rest of the chorus: "Revealing your pancreas is not a good first date idea")

From this moment/Long as I live/I'll be living/Breathing in and out #literalpopsongs

You're a god, and I should worship you but I'm that devout #literalpopsongs
(This one should be "I'm NOT that devout". Oh well.)

No one knows what it's like to be vitreous/to be the lens/behind blue eyes #literalpopsongs

I wanna be bad/Screw philosophy/I'm not debating this/I'm off the path of good/And on the path of bad/Ocrapdidn'tponderthat #literalpopsongs

Now, how many of these songs can you guess? I tried to keep them somewhat mainstream, or at least they were mainstream at some point in time.