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I have an Onion calendar from 2009. Since it's no longer 2009, I've been using the pages as a notepad when the need to scribble down directions or a phone number or lists arises. I've also been reading the articles and horoscopes as each page gets used. The next page's horoscope:

The stars understand that faith is difficult in the modern world, but trust them when they tell you that the derivative of a constant is always zero.

I would definitely read horoscopes if they told me so-called trivial facts like these.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 5th, 2010 09:37 pm (UTC)
Since the stars in the sky constantly move and thus they have nothing to do with the stars above you on your birthday according to the zodiac, I think 2009 horoscopes should be just as valid today as they were last year :)
May. 5th, 2010 09:42 pm (UTC)
This is true. I don't put much stock in horoscopes in the first place for that reason.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )