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Paul and I broke up last night. He initiated it. There were lots of tears involved.

I'm not typing out the whole thing (yet, anyway) because I already did that once, but tl;dr: He felt like I wasn't being emotionally satisfied/was happy not to be single anymore/didn't care about him in the same way.

And if you saw me go through that box of tissues, you'd know how not true this was.

But before I contact him again for friendship purposes, the following needs to happen:

1. Get into some therapy. A lot of the issues he saw were caused by my personal issues, which are improvable. (Mostly anxiety and worry and not all that much practice in relationships) Which leads to...

2. See someone else. Date, one-night stand, whatever. I can omit this if at least nine months pass and we happen to run into each other for NaNo stuff in 2013.

So that's that.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 21st, 2013 01:31 am (UTC)
Awwww I'm so sorry :(. Maybe it was all just too much too soon you know? Therapy is always good, though in whichever form it takes. And I think it's good whether or not you have a big impending problem. Friendship later in the game might be a good idea.

Keep carrying on!
Jan. 21st, 2013 04:09 am (UTC)
Thanks. It might have been the too much too soon thing. To be fair, we did move quickly and kind of skipped the getting to know each other phase, which probably freaked me out given most of my past relationships. And I remember talking about the "Hoshit I have a boy in my life NOW WHAT" phenomenon very early on and he has a pretty good memory.

As for therapy, I've seen those same general things creep up in other areas of my life too and can think of a few specific incidents that ended negatively primarily because of my anxiety/worry, so getting that checked out is definitely worth doing in the near future. I already have a few places in mind to call this week.

And friendship, well, he did move down here to be with his two best friends and doesn't know too many other people around here, so goodness knows he might could do with another friend. We met through NaNo and it was all serendipity and so fast. We may be friends later, but I need to get myself more in check first before contacting him. Especially given how revealing the talk turned out to be and the breakupsex. (Not the greatest idea, I know.)
Jan. 22nd, 2013 01:24 pm (UTC)
break up
sorry to read of your break-up with Paul-pray in time your heart will heal-peace
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )